oh me oh my!!

Well… well… well… seems weird to update this blog after the long hiatus. The intention is there, trust me. It’s just that the will isn’t. Plus I’m scared people will get so judgmental about what I wrote, hence the break from writing anything. But fret not. I will try to put it aside and start to write at least one entry per day. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be fun re-living my memories. <3 p="p">

So… what’s the story? Oh I think I owe myself the birth-story of Z-kun. Now… here it goes…

It started on the 7^th of September 2011. Few days prior, I was beginning to feel the mild contractions. It was the Braxton Hicks I may say. Particularly in the morning and gone at noon. And started again around 4am the next morning. Since the interval was quite far, I couldn’t be bothered to time it. Still far – I thought to myself. Then on the 7^th itself, I couldn’t feel any movement inside me. I was freaking out and quickly called Hunny to come home and quickly bring me to the hospital. And after sorting out few stuffs at home (hospital bags, cleaned up the house a bit etc2…), off we were to DEMC. Once I was there, the nurses asked us to straight away go to the labor room to do the CTG scan thingy and whatnot. When the midwife told us that the baby’s heartbeat is ok and everything was fine, we happily thought ‘oh great! Nothing to worry about. We can stop by McDonald and eat out dinner’. I was nearly ready to open the scanner’s strap when the midwife added ‘But you are 2cm dilated. I suggest that you stay here for the night. In case of anything’. I was dumbfounded. Off course I wasn’t ready. I’ve been telling myself everyday that the baby will only arrived in a week time (cause I haven’t had the episode of contractions and water-breaking drama. Silly me!). We discussed for a moment and Hunny succumbed to the midwife’s suggestion.

That night, Ibu&Ayah came to visit me. I wasn’t nervous at all. And I can still laugh when the graph spiked to 100-120 because I didn’t feel a thing. The next day, at 8am, the nurse came and asked me to go to the labor room again to check my cervix opening. It was only 3cm. My ObGyn came around 9am and asked whether she can break my waterbag to accelerate the birth. We agreed to it (a very wrong decision indeed!) and after a while, the pain came. It was excruciating. I kid u not. Like what you have heard before, it was like something big is gonna come out from your bottom. It was like I wanted to poop but I can’t for so many reasons. It was like your hip is crushed to the point that you can’t breath. Ok I can’t describe how painful it was. But trust me, very painful (with a capital P). :-p

My victim is of course my husband. I can only remember that I clawed his hand until he cringed in pain. Then I remember that I screamed at him to get the nurse and give me any form of pain relief eventhough at first we rejected all offerings for painkiller. Ha… Ha… (I laugh every time I remember his face). So the nurse came and at first she gave me the jab at my bum. Nothing! I swear the pain was still the same. The nurse told us that it will kicked-in in a few minutes. 5 minutes gone… 10 minutes gone… 15 minutes gone… Nada. Still nothing. I remember I screamed (again) and the midwife came in. She asked us to use the laughing gas. Boy this was funny. The gas didn’t help at all but I kept on inhaling it like there was no tomorrow. Until my front tongue felt numb and Hunny said my lips turned blue. That’s when he tried to take the mask away from me and the funny part was I actually fight him back to make sure the mask was with me all the time… (We fought until the mask detached from the hose at one point… Ha Ha Ha). At last I surrender (of course… I’m in pain remember!). So Hunny called the midwife in and asked if there is anything else to ease the pain. He didn’t know what to do. He even texted Atart to ask for any doa’s that can help me. So sweetttt… And big thanks Babe. That was when the midwife suggested epidural. We didn’t think long and quickly agreed to it.

After signing a few papers, the anesthetist came in and ready to start with the procedure. You know that when he wanted to insert the needle (Hunny said it’s huggeeee), he’ll first ask you to like bend down a bit while sitting down and not to move at all to make sure that the needle is inserted at the right place? Well I moved. Not just a bit. I think a lot. I think because I cannot stand a needle being poked to my body. Even the tiny needle let alone a big one! So I moved (more like trying to run away) when the needle touched my skin. The doctor grabbed my shoulder and asked me to calm down. (Hey… try poke your back with something sharp. Who wouldn’t budge? Ok tell me it’s not only me. Scaredycat. Ha Ha Ha). Now I think the consequence of my chickenly action is quite bad. I have a backache. I cannot stand up for a long period. Pffttt!

Ok back to my story. So you must have thought that the agony is now over. Oh you are so very wrong! The drug only moved to one leg. Just one. Not two. Let me remind you that we have a pair of legs. Ha Ha… so I was crying in pain because I can still feel the pain in my other leg. So dumb right? The nurse even tried to shift my position to make the drug went to the other side. But to no avail of course! We called the anesthetist to do something about it but he couldn’t do anything at all. He said there was nothing wrong with the procedure. The fact that I moved at the beginning didn’t disturb the flow. I remember I shouted at him when he showed me the quitting face. Poor guy. (eh ke more like padan muke?) At 3pm my ObGyn came again to check on me. She said from 9am to 3pm, my dilation was only 4 cm. The progress was not good. Too slow it seemed. She said we will have to wait until 6pm to see the progress again. Goodness gracious! 4 freaking cm??? I was nearly dying and the opening just moved a little only??? I felt so demotivated that time. (at least I think I was). Then at 6pm, she came back again and said there was no different from the last time she measured. Meaning in that 3 hours of agony, no further opening. None. And what was even more shocking, she said that the baby’s head was no longer in a crowning position. He has moved up. I was DEVASTATED. My ObGyn then said we can opt for surgery at this point if I want to. If not, we can still wait for another 2 hours to see any more progress. I was sad. I called my mom. Of course I was crying hysterically (cause if possible I don’t want my baby to be cut out from me). But my mom calmly said ‘if that is what has been written for me, I should accept it no matter what’. Redha! That’s the word. So we signed a few more papers then the poor anesthetist came in again and did something (I guess something correct because then I didn’t feel a thing). So at 7pm, they send me to the OT and at 7.15pm, I heard my precious crying his lung out! Such a melodious sound to my ear.

The nurse brought him to me to show it’s a boy. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and waited for the doctor to sewn me back. The crews were chatting happily among themselves about holidays and OT claims and beautiful dates to have a baby being cut out from you (11 nov 2011) and etc. How wonderful! I always thought doctors have to be all serious when performing surgery. Nonetheless I was really tired, hungry, cold and sleepy to bother at their talk. And before the procedure ended, I heard the team did the check with the list of equipments used during the surgery. To make sure that nothing is left inside me. Pheww!

So that’s that. The story of my first birth experience. Not as exciting as others of course. But if I ever gonna have the second one, I would wanna wait until I feel the contractions come naturally and will never ever ever let the ObGyn/Midwife breaks my waterbag. If I have dilated even 1cm, I will wait until I feel ready to deliver my baby. Hypno-birthing sounds nice but loads of things to consider of course.

I think that’s all for this time. Till next time!! Toodless!!!